When I had a nine-to-five job and used to picture being a full-time author, I envisioned each day free of distractions. No coworkers would interrupt me with (desired or undesired) conversations. No meetings would gobble up huge chunks of the workday. No bosses would insert their “one more thing” tasks into the day. I wouldn’t even have a commute to eat up time.

In reality, it’s more like today:

6:30 am: Feed outside cat, get morning lemon water, see husband off

7 am: Start work

8 am: Feed outside cat; feed self; get back to work

9 am: Take out fresh, gag-worthy litter box offerings

9:30 am: Outside cat is hungry again; neighbor cat ate all her leftovers; feed again

11 am: Lunch

12 pm: Outside cat again wants food. She’s 23+ years old; she gets what she wants

1:30 pm: Inside cat sprays wet litter all over desk; clean up desk, clean up cat’s gross paw, take out litter box offerings

2:17 pm: Ignore telemarketer call for umpteenth time, hit mute on the phone, and pretend it hasn’t completely taken me out of my story

3 pm: Outside cat hungry; feed on autopilot; grab snack for self

4 pm: Inside cat demands clean water bowl be cleaned again; comply to keep the peace

4:30 pm: Exercise, because butt feels square

It always cracks me up when people assume I’m doing household chores during the day, too. Or the people who say that when they work from home, they get distracted by chores. I’ve got enough interruptions; I don’t need to add doing laundry or the dishes or vacuuming on top of that.